Thursday, October 7, 2010

Squib Cases

Entered into evidence in Ricks v. Law School Reading

Ricks v. Male-Pattern Baldness:
My lawsuit against this culprit for IIED (intentional infliction of emotional distress) continues, and damages continue to increase.  The jury is out.

Ricks v. Law School Reading:
I've filed a motion for directed verdict for false imprisonment by the law school reading that I'm feeling buried under.

Ricks v. The Half-Way Point:
The events of the week surrounding my half-way point through the first semester of my 1L year were not kind.  This past week kinda beat me up.  I came out conquerer and won this suit.  Last week owes me a day off on Monday as damages for battery.

Entered into evidence for Time v. Ricks.
Ricks v. Perkins:
My car, Gregory Perkins, is being a butt.  I bought a new battery for it, and it ran great for about a day.  Then it decided to poop out on me again.  What does this mean?  I have gotten to ride the metro for about a full week now.  I'm suing Greg for my travel costs, and the repair costs I will incur tomorrow.

Ricks v. Today's Weather:
I'm filing an injunction to force the weather from today to stick around forever.  It was perfect.

Ricks v. Armstrong:
Not Lance, nor Niel, but Louis.  His rendition of "What a Wonderful World" is a darn good song.  That is all.  I made this one up.  (The rest of these cases are REAL*.  Trust me.**)

Ricks v. Bus Driver:
There is an awesome bus driver that always makes me smile who has the shift on my route home from school.  Why am I suing him then?  He made fun of me the first time I boarded his bus, because I had my earbuds in and he had to honk at me twice and was about to drive away before I saw him and flagged him down.  Sometimes I need extra help.  After I climbed aboard feeling pretty dumb, he was smiling at me and said, "You gotta come back man!" as he pointed at his head.  I said, "Yeah, no kidding."  (I was particularly mentally drained that day.)  He remembers me from that, and we both laugh on the inside about it each time we see each other.  Uh... he must pay?

Time v. Ricks:
Time is suing me for negligence.  I think that sums it up.


K, bye.  See you next month?


  1. DARGHLE!!! How did I not do Ricks v. October! I hate this month! Every year it is my least favorite. Trust me, one week in, this one fits. (Nothing against General Conference, but all the rest of this week wasn't super.)

  2. I think once you hit finals, December is going to become your least favorite month. What's not to like about October?