Sunday, May 23, 2010

Jam Trickery Sniffer?

My friend Julianna came over to visit this evening and we discovered a pretty hilarious way to kill some time.  We got on the subject of anagrams, and decided to look up an anagram server on the interweb.  We discovered  Jules decided that we should try out our names and see what we came up with.  Mine immediately had some pretty hilarious results.  (When you have over 55,000 word combos made from your name, there are bound to be funny ones.)

Some of my most favorite outcomes from my name (aside from the title of this post which is by far the best):
Anemic Jerk First Fry
Miscreant Jerky Riff
Try Infirm Jerk Faces
Try Mr. Canker Jiffies
Cream Jerky Fin First
Crane Jerky Firm Fist
Carney Jerks Firm Fit
Mercenary Jiff Skirt
Farmer Inject Frisky
Fancier Jet Fry Smirk

Yeah, this probably isn't as funny if you weren't here laughing at these with us.  Um, bye.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Mike Lee for U.S. Senate! Boo Tim Bridgewater ads on my blog. I'm tired.

I started work on Mike Lee's campaign this morning.  It was funny because I walked into the office and there were a couple guys in there that I hadn't met yet.  One looked occupied as he was on the phone, but he smiled at me, and I introduced myself to the other.  After being led to where I would start working by Evelyn, (I guess she's my boss, so to speak; it's weird working at a non-paying job for me), I realized that the other guy was Mike himself.  Haha, oops!  It was ok, he didn't have time to chat as he was out the door soon afterwards.

Today was interesting.  When I interviewed yesterday, I thought that I would be working with a few people pretty far down the chain in Mike's campaign.  Turns out I'm working with quite a few of the major contributors to his campaign.  It's really fun, and I really hope Mike wins.  I have to admit that while I'm probably a bit more liberal than any of the people on his campaign, I think he's the man for the job.  Especially more so than Tim Bridgewater.  That guy has dumped his money into campaign after campaign to get himself elected.  He's yet to do so.  I just really prefer Mike to him, and hope that Tim doesn't win.

Speaking of Tim, he has so much money that when I wrote about Mike Lee on my last blog post, Tim's ads showed up on my blog!  Lame!  I've begun efforts to block them.  So take that Tim!  (Haha, I don't hate the guy or anything, I just would seriously rather not advertise for him, and I don't want him to win.)

Shockingly, I'm actually really tired and it's only just after 10 pm!  This is HIGHLY unusual for me.

Uh, k, see ya.

Enough links for you?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

They don't call it hunting because it doesn't require an actual hunt. Mike Lee?

I hate job-hunting. It isn't very fun. I am struggling to even get interviews at the places that I didn't want to apply. (Pizza Hut?) I don't know why people aren't calling me for interviews. Shouldn't this be so much easier now that I'm a "college graduate?"

The good news though, is that I have found someone to let me work for them... for free. Mike Lee's campaign has brought me on as an intern. I'm really excited. It's funny... I am not normally a big fan of politicians, but I like getting involved in politics. When I volunteered for Mitt Romney's campaign, I had a blast. (Despite the couple making out on the bus in front of me, that was horrifying.) I will be working at Mike's campaign office around whatever hours required at the job I'll be picking up as soon as possible. I'm hoping to get the job I just finished applying for as it sounds like a blast. Basically it sounds like doing what I'm doing this second, only about topics unrelated to me, and quite a bit more boring. However, it seems like a really fun company. Pray for me. Or if that isn't your thing you can wish me luck, kick a cat, or do whatever superstitious thing you do when you know a fellow that needs a job!

Uh, k, bye.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

57 Songs Most Likely To Inspire Intense Performances By Me When I'm Alone In My Car...

I made a mix the other day that is only songs that generally encourage me to sing full-voice American Idol-worthy performances in my car-- when I'm alone.  Not that I won't sing along with all of these and many more of my songs when my friends are in the car with me (because I definitely do, and I'm sorry friends!)  But these are the ones that I am most likely to really belt out.

It's a GREAT mix.  Enjoy!

Listed alphabetically by song:

"Ashes Of An Argument" Halfpenny Marvel
"Beautiful" Borne
"Black Balloon" Goo Goo Dolls
"Bohemian Rhapsody" Queen
"Bridge Over Troubled Water" Simon & Garfunkel
"Butterflies & Hurricanes" Muse
"Call And Answer" Barenaked Ladies
"Careful" Guster
"The Crane Wife 3" The Decemberists
"Desperado" The Eagles
"The Distance" Cake
"Dream Catch Me" Newton Faulkner
"Dreaming With A Broken Heart" John Mayer
"Either Way" Guster
"The Engine Driver "   The Decemberists
"Every Breath You Take" The Police
"Father and Son" Cat Stevens
"A Glorious Day" Embrace
"Go Mad" Caleb Kane
"Gone" (New mix)   U2
"Hang On" Guster
"Hear Me" Imagine Dragons
"I Will Follow You Into The Dark" Death Cab For Cutie
"The Legiaonnaire's Lament" The Decemberists
"Life Is Beautiful" Vega4
"Life Is Wonderful"   Jason Mraz
"Lightning Rod" Guster
"Needs" Collective Soul
"Nothing Compares 2 U" Sinead O'Connor
"O Maria!" Sea Wolf
"One" U2
"One Headlight" The Wallflowers
"Outside"  Aqualung
"Paper Bag" Dear & The Headlights
"Plea From A Cat Named Virtute"   The Weakerthans
"Pride" U2
"Run" Snow Patrol
"See These Bones"   Nada Surf
"She Will Be Loved" Maroon 5
"Side" Travis
"Singing In My Sleep" Semisonic
"Somewhere Only We Know" Keane
"The Sound Of Settling"  Death Cab For Cutie
"The Space Between" Dave Matthews Band
"Strange Condition" Pete Yorn
"Sundress"       Ben Kweller
"Telling Lies"   Great Northern
"Tournament of Hearts"   The Weakerthans
"Two Wuv"      Tally Hall
"Ugly Love" Eels
"Under The Bridge" Red Hot Chilli Peppers
"Welcome to Tally Hall"  Tally Hall
"What About Everything?" Carbon Leaf
"Wish You Were Here"   Incubus
"With Or Without You"   U2
"Wonderwall"  Oasis
"You're a Wolf" Sea Wolf

You should probably know that I don't really think I'm a good singer.  And most of these "performances" are interrupted by long fits of laughter.  Yes, I DO think that I'm very funny, but no I don't think I'm a good singer.  It's kinda a shame that people don't get to laugh along with me when I'm belting these lovely ballads out.  Oh well.  K, bye!

Sunday, May 16, 2010


So, I don't know if any of you have seen the KFC commercials that are talking about how they're raising money for breast cancer. Certainly, that is a noble cause. But... do we really want people contributing to the health of other people... by buying a bucket full of heart disease? Maybe, I'm a jerk for saying all of this.

They have one commercial that has a bunch of people holding the buckets and saying, "For my mom," or "For my sister," etc. Again, I know I probably sound a little insensitive, but you bought a whole bucket of chicken... for only one person!? Not healthy. That sounds like a lot more trouble than tribute.

Anyway, I was just a little disturbed by their commercials. Their commercials look like they're suggesting I should buy a whole bucket for just one person to consume. Not healthy.

Totally random side note: Just watched Brian Regan. I think he's the best stand up comedian save only Jerry Seinfeld.

Uh, k bye. Random post, I know.

PS: Check this out:

(Skip to 1:10 to get to the good part.)

The Taiwanese Whitney Houston.  I laughed and loved this video when I saw it.  Yahoo! made fun of her and said this kid is doing way better than she is.  Sad.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Muddled Brain Syndrome...

I was having a tremendous conversation with my good friend Julianna yesterday and we started talking about purpose. Not the purpose of life, or anything profound or philosophical or the like, just a present purpose for getting out of bed... some productivity.

At the moment. I'm like Stonehenge. Look at it. It's pretty cool, but it's so... pointless. It's just a bunch of rocks in a circle. Look at me. I'm pretty cool. But as of right now, I'm jobless, and hence I feel kinda pointless. I'm currently feeling like just a bunch of flesh and bones in a circle.... wait... ok, took that analogy too far. No, I'm not in a circle... although I'm trying to reverse the process of weight-gain that had subtly been turning me into more of a spherical object.

THE POINT: Having no job right now has made my brain feel muddled. I have only been without a job for about 5 or 6 days, and I'm feeling really unproductive and out of sorts. SOMEONE FREAKING HIRE ME BEFORE MY BRAIN IS A PERMA-CLOUD! Woah, sorry about the yelling. But I was just explaining that I feel like not having anything to urgently be thinking about or applying my brain to in the present or near-present has left my brain feeling sluggish.

The good news: I can start my reading list for future 1Ls. My brother-in-law was awesome and gave me a few books to get my summer rolling, and has given me a summer's worth of a reading list to get me prepped a bit for the school year ahead of me. (If I complain of boredom this summer, just remind me to read, it will be good for me. Thanks.) ALSO, I'm finally feeling pretty good and settled into my choice. I know I have said stuff like that before, or maybe I haven't... anyway, I'm excited to go to George Mason, and I feel like it's where I need to be headed. That's a big relief, and maybe now that that's not weighing on my mind quite as much, my mind isn't as constantly occupied with "law school" thoughts as it has been for the last... who knows how long? Hence I have Muddled Brain Syndrome. No job or school work to currently occupy the "Jeff must be stressing over something" section of this crazy brain of mine.

Uh... I don't know if that felt concluded, but I want to conclude writing.
K, see ya.

Monday, May 10, 2010

My first Jazz game in years...and they lost.

Well, the Jazz were swept by the Lakers. That's just plain sad. I'll hope for a better year next season.

I went to the game tonight with my dad. It was fun. However, I realized that I actually had way more fun at the Utah State games where the crowd plays an even bigger role than the Jazz's crowd, which is one of the best in the NBA. But again, I really did enjoy yelling and cheering with my dad. I think my suspicion of the NBA officiating stems almost entirely from him. Because we sound the same about a lot of the calls that go the Laker's way. But, again, as my earlier post said, it's just a game for entertainment value, and is a business to get mulah. Of course the reffing is going to have bias issues.

I freaking love Deron Williams and I'm really glad that the Jazz have him. I can't wait to see if they can get someone great to replace Boozer (who was not that impressive in this series against the Lakers). They just need one great big man and this team could really go places. We'll see. Perhaps this season was the best one the Jazz will have in a while, but hopefully this is just a sign of better ones to come.

Anyway, despite how fair-weather I tend to be about the Jazz, I really do enjoy cheering for them. Fun stuff.

K, bye.

Friday, May 7, 2010

"Robots position giant box over oil-spewing well"

The title of this post is a headline I just read on Yahoo!.  Is it just me, or does it make it sound like no humans were involved whatsoever?  Yep, robots just showed up and did it on their own.


Anyway, I'm stuck at work in the library, and as this is the last day of finals, NO ONE is around, except for like 3 random dudes.

K, see ya.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

The Thoughts of a Soon-to-be Graduate...

Originally uploaded by @mands
So, I finished the very last of the stuff I have to do in order to graduate tonight. (Ok, I have to turn in my take-home final, but then that's it.) I can't believe I'm done. I've really been in denial about it all, but it's kind of setting in now. I think it will hit me a lot harder on Saturday when I get handed my degree... case. Anyway, I'm crazy-tired from not sleeping last night and cranking out a 10 page paper today in a matter of about 4 hours. It wasn't pretty, and I'm not really pretty right now either. (Just go back to the picture of me after writing my senior thesis to get an idea of what I look like right now.) Lucky, lucky you. You get to read some of my RANDOM thoughts. (Plus I've thrown in some random dog picture.... k, see ya... except I'm not leaving.)

1. Being a nerd myself, I enjoy when I spot people doing nerdly things. The other day in the library I walked past two library employees having a race to see who could check in their stack of books the fastest. It was entertaining whilst I walked by.

2. If I were to be searching for a job that I could get with a history degree right now... pretty sure there's NOTHING I could use it for. I can't teach because I don't have a certificate, and pretty much any historian-type jobs require further schooling. Lame sauce. Good thing a JD could possibly get me a job.

3. "Pictures of Matchstick Men" by Camper Van Beethoven is an incredible song. Everyone should love it. I heard it in the store the other day and it cheered me up. I'm listening to it RIGHT NOW!

4. I think the Jazz are capable of going to 7 games with the Lakers, but I really don't think they'll beat the Lakers at home at all. Sad day.

5. Jerry Sloan talks like there's something in his mouth. I can never fathom how the players could possibly understand him when they're in the NBA's loudest arena.

6. I win. (Spencer knows what I mean.)

7. Speaking of Spencer, he's currently killing me in our friendly roommate rivalry. (See side bar.)

8. I hate packing. I have to do that soon. Ugh.

9. Hmm... I'm leaving Logan soon, and I'm not so sure that I'm devastated about that. There was snow on the ground again today. It's freaking May 6th! STOP SNOWING ALREADY!

10. For some reason this is my lucky number.

Lucky for you, I'm quitting now.

K, bye.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

No words... but this is definitely a good distraction from homework...

Yeah, I just saw this on Facebook and hit play.  I had to watch it a few times........ it's hard to look away, and yet it weirds me out SO much.   Uh... enjoy!

The problem is definitely NOT too much hair that needs to be removed!

K, see ya.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Horrors of Balding...

This beautiful picture is me.  What is horrifying me, you ask?  That item in my hand is a clump of at least half of the 10 hairs that came off my head when I rubbed my head just now.

There's something about balding that is just kind of... well, horrifying.

To demonstrate this to you girls who don't understand the plight of those of us that must deal with Male Pattern Baldness, I'm going to compare the process of balding to that of gaining weight.  You see, when I gain weight it just kind of happens, and can go unnoticed because the changes in me are generally subtle until finally I notice that I have an extra layer of flub that wasn't there before.  It just sneaks up on me, but it's something that hits me all at once.

You see, with balding... it's a slow, steady process that is VERY apparent to you each day with each and every hair you watch fall from your head.  This process lasts for YEARS and is brought to your attention FAR more often than weight-gain.  Also, for some reason it's socially acceptable to joke about a man going bald.  (Obviously weight-gain is NOT a socially acceptable observation to make about someone.)  So I get to deal with jokes.  (Not that this post isn't kind of about the humorous side of these horrors, but they are kind of horrifying horrors nonetheless.)  (Also I deal with my balding by joking about it as well.)

The other extremely uncomfortable reminder about balding that I don't get about weight-gain is the once-a-month trip to some fine establishment like Great Clips, Fantastic Sam's (Fabulous Sam's if you're Shelley), or Sport Clips.  For at least the last year, this once-a-month trip has included a sales pitch for Nioxin products.  I can just see the, "Oh yeah, I need to try to sell this balding guy some Nioxin products,"-look that crosses the hairdressers' faces each time, and I know it's coming.  Every time it starts with,
(Hairdresser:) "So, have you heard of Nioxin?"
(Jeff:) Yeah.
(HD:) Oh, have you used it?
(Jeff:) No, I can't afford it.
(HD:) Oh, yeah, it is kind of expensive.  It is really great though.  It helps to thicken the hair and covers thinning really well.  Some guys regrow hair, too.
(Jeff:) Huh.
(HD:)  Do you want me to see what we sell it for?
(Jeff:) (Internal sigh of anguish followed by) Ok.
(HD:) It costs an arm and a leg, but you clearly need it chrome-dome.
(Jeff:) (The last time I got my hair cut)  Ok, fine.  I'll try it.

Yes, after a YEAR of resisting the SAME spiel, I finally gave in and bought some of their baldness miracle cure.  Maybe it will get them off my back, but now I remember that I'm balding each time I take a shower and use my shampoo and conditioner.

And the horrors continue.

Also, if I'm going to be as bald as my mother's father (isn't that how "they" say you figure out if you'll be bald?) I am going to lose ALL of my hair.  I won't even have a horse-shoe to speak of.  This means I will advance from a level 2, all the way through to level 7 and beyond!  I have so much horror to deal with for so many years to come.  WOOT!

Ah, balding, wonderful balding in all its glory.  K, see ya.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Hmm... I guess it's time to commit again...

I don't know where you are Randy's Donuts, but I WILL FIND YOU!

Ok...actually, the caption on flickr says it's in Inglewood, CA... so no... I probably won't be finding Randy's Donuts.

I'm afraid that my diet has consisted of far, far too much grossness lately. And it hasn't all been my doing... or at least my obtaining. It has been offered to me. For instance, just yesterday, I was offered 3 pieces of cake, a piece of pie, and a giant cinnamon roll. Sadly, yes. I ate all of these things. They were delicious. But not great for my poor body. I also have bought donuts more than I care to admit of late. My point? It's time for me to slow down on the junk food and speed up on the exercise.

I fully intend to work out every day Monday through Saturday again this summer. I felt so good at the end of last summer when I had done that, so I'm totally doing it again. Hopefully I'll do better in the food department than I did last year, but I will at least be matching my effort in the working out department.

Just needed to make that official so that you all can hold me accountable. K, bye.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Conan O'Brien in His First Post-NBC Interview

Conan O'Brien is Love
Originally uploaded by WestlifeBunny
First of all, I think Jay Leno is a jerk. I haven't ever been a big fan of his, and always have favored watching David Letterman over Jay Leno. However, sometimes I have watched Leno's show(s). For the last while ever since Conan's brief job hosting The Tonight Show went south, I have effectively boycotted Jay Leno. I haven't watched one minute of him on TV. I think he's a JERK for taking a job back after leaving it. Granted, it's not all his fault. NBC is very much to blame as well. I think they handled the whole thing unwisely. Anyway, Conan just filmed his first interview and he pretty much says what I feel. In the interview Conan said that he would not have "surrendered 'The Tonight Show' and handed it over to somebody publicly and wished them well -- and then ... six months later [taken it back]... But that's me, you know." I think Conan's totally right that Jay was pretty lame in doing so.

Anyway, I think Conan's hilarious. I hope his new TBS show does well.

On to much more important things in my life, I'm kinda sorta graduating this week. It's really weird. Everyone asks if I'm excited, and I don't really know how to answer. I know I should be, but I guess the actual emotion just isn't there. I think I'm pretty freaked out about law school and that is why graduating isn't really sinking in. I am pretty excited about doing new adventurous things, but I just don't feel much about actually graduating. It's odd.

I've applied for my loans and stuff at George Mason, so that's about a done deal. I still feel like I'll go to BYU and possibly Utah if they take me off of their waiting lists. It's hard to not accept a much much cheaper offer from a school that is ranked the exact same and probably can get me a job just as well.

Speaking of jobs... does ANYONE out there have one for me? I really really don't want to end up with a lame summer job again. Especially now that I'm all awesome and have a college degree, (hahaha). I don't feel like a college degree is helping me out much, especially because it's in history. What do I do with that? I think I'm just going to have to settle for a not-so-great job and just suck it up. We'll see. If only I could make more money with this blog. Thus far I've managed to rake in about 40 bucks. Woot!

Well, I think that's about it. See y'all later!