Thursday, October 28, 2010

Ricks v. The White Board

Just once in my life, I'd like to be able to write something AWESOME on a white board like this:

As my roommate has been preparing to go to Nepal, I've been wishing I could go with his humanitarian group.  Perhaps I can go on one of his many adventures in the future.  But for now...

Saturday, October 16, 2010


UPDATE:  Ricks v. Weather:  You may recall that I filed an injunction to stop the great weather from leaving.  That injunction failed.

UPDATE:  Ricks v. Male-Pattern Baldness:  I've attempted to settle out of court with MPB.  If it will agree to stop advancing across my head, and will encourage my mini-mullet to cooperate and stop growing at such an obnoxious speed, then I will drop this suit.

UPDATE:  Ricks v. Apple's iPod nano Pedometer:  I've decided not to appeal the "district court"'s ruling in Apple's favor.  I did this for two reasons, (1) I've figured out how to deal with the pedometer's lack of abilities (see photo and caption below), and (2) some of the contributory reasons for my anguish at the time of the incident (regarding my econ test) have been pretty well turned into joy.  I did SIGNIFICANTLY better than I thought I would.  I was shocked when I saw my score.  I asked someone to make sure the test was out of 100, and not 200 or something.  I know that I didn't nail that test, and so I'm led to believe that my econ professor was very lenient on his grading.  So it's certainly in small part that I understood most of the material, and in large part luck-- or divine intervention.  For real.

Ricks v. Apple's iPod nano Pedometer:  I figured out that if
I clip the nano onto a watch band, the pedometer works much
better.  Also it's way more convenient for changing songs, etc.
UPDATE: Ricks v. Keebler: I should probably implead Krispy Kreme.  They are also very guilty of "fattery."

UPDATE: Ricks v. October:  I mentioned this "case" in my comments of the "Squib Cases" post.  I hate October.  It's not a great month.  However, I will admit that at least here in Virginia it is still at least warm on some days.  And we actually got Columbus Day off.  That was nice!  Other than that, I'm still not a fan of this month.  

UPDATE: Time v. Ricks:  Yeah, probably contributing more to that case right now.  Best get back to my homework.  K, bye.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Squib Cases

Entered into evidence in Ricks v. Law School Reading

Ricks v. Male-Pattern Baldness:
My lawsuit against this culprit for IIED (intentional infliction of emotional distress) continues, and damages continue to increase.  The jury is out.

Ricks v. Law School Reading:
I've filed a motion for directed verdict for false imprisonment by the law school reading that I'm feeling buried under.

Ricks v. The Half-Way Point:
The events of the week surrounding my half-way point through the first semester of my 1L year were not kind.  This past week kinda beat me up.  I came out conquerer and won this suit.  Last week owes me a day off on Monday as damages for battery.

Entered into evidence for Time v. Ricks.
Ricks v. Perkins:
My car, Gregory Perkins, is being a butt.  I bought a new battery for it, and it ran great for about a day.  Then it decided to poop out on me again.  What does this mean?  I have gotten to ride the metro for about a full week now.  I'm suing Greg for my travel costs, and the repair costs I will incur tomorrow.

Ricks v. Today's Weather:
I'm filing an injunction to force the weather from today to stick around forever.  It was perfect.

Ricks v. Armstrong:
Not Lance, nor Niel, but Louis.  His rendition of "What a Wonderful World" is a darn good song.  That is all.  I made this one up.  (The rest of these cases are REAL*.  Trust me.**)

Ricks v. Bus Driver:
There is an awesome bus driver that always makes me smile who has the shift on my route home from school.  Why am I suing him then?  He made fun of me the first time I boarded his bus, because I had my earbuds in and he had to honk at me twice and was about to drive away before I saw him and flagged him down.  Sometimes I need extra help.  After I climbed aboard feeling pretty dumb, he was smiling at me and said, "You gotta come back man!" as he pointed at his head.  I said, "Yeah, no kidding."  (I was particularly mentally drained that day.)  He remembers me from that, and we both laugh on the inside about it each time we see each other.  Uh... he must pay?

Time v. Ricks:
Time is suing me for negligence.  I think that sums it up.


K, bye.  See you next month?